Chapter 182: Coming Soon to Kaifeng

“Well now, isn't it Zhuge and Nanah?” Qing called out. “What brings you here? Ah. I suppose we were all bound to gather eventually.”

“It has been some time, Sister Qing,” Zhuge Ihyeon greeted formally.

“Qing-ah!” Tang Nanah squealed.

“Don’t be like that… alright, fine. Come here!” Qing relented.

As Tang Nanah rushed over with the world’s most delighted expression, Qing let out a snort before changing her mind and opening her arms wide.

Tang Nanah attempted a body slam.

The effect was minimal.

This was because force is determined by speed and mass (excluding the cosmic mystery of true qi), and Qing’s body was not so frail as to be unable to withstand the charge of a mere lightweight girl.

Seeing Qing even plant her feet to receive the impact, Tang Nanah launched herself forward, wrapping her arms around Qing’s neck in a fierce hug.

In that instant, the sweet, powdery scent of warm milk washed over Qing.

“You’re not hurt anywhere, right?” Nanah asked worriedly. “If you have a fever or anything, don’t hide it, tell me, okay? It’ll be trouble if your wounds get infected, so let’s take a look when we go up later. By the way, I heard you were in jail. Those bastards in there didn’t give you a hard time, did they?”

“Oh, they gave someone a hard time alright…” Qing muttered.

Of course, Qing was the perpetrator, the one giving others a hard time.

Those jailed wenches had the audacity to try and establish dominance, so she had to instill some manners and etiquette in them.

She had considered confiscating their food due to hunger brought on by the meager rations that barely registered, but stealing food felt too harsh, even for her, so she let them eat.

“What happened?” Qing asked, changing the subject. “With Old Man Ban’s son?”

“His grandson, Sister Qing,” Zhuge Ihyeon corrected gently.

“Nineteen? Grandson, son, what’s the difference at that point?” Qing waved a hand dismissively. “He’s a grown man either way.”

“That is also true,” Zhuge Ihyeon conceded. “The grown son has returned to his elderly grandfather, so you need not worry. Miss Gyeon said she would take him in and find him a place at the Seol Family Trading Company. Are you familiar with it?”

“Well, it would be hard for him to keep doing business in Zhumadian,” Qing mused. “That’s good. It’s a small shop run by a friend. Ah. I’m hungry. Have you eaten? Hey, server!”

Having moved to a private room, Qing took out the resentment from a day and a half wasted pointlessly on the innocent food.

“Sister Qing, are you even tasting it?” Zhuge Ihyeon asked, watching her inhale the food.

“Yeah. It’s delicious,” Qing mumbled between bites. “Oh. Right. Zhuge-ah, do you know something called the Shadowless Divine Hand?”

“The Shadowless Divine Hand!” Zhuge Ihyeon’s eyes lit up. “You must be referring to the unique martial art of the Shadowless Divine Thief, the Shadowless Divine Hand! Indeed! My acquaintance with that intriguing thief dates back to the seventh month, eighth day of my eleventh year, a time when I was learning military strategy from Scholar Janghak…”

“Seriously talks way too much…” Qing thought, rolling her eyes. “He seems even wordier lately. Does Nanah not listen to you?”

“Well, Sister Tang Nanah doesn’t listen to anyone, not just me,” Zhuge Ihyeon lamented. “Ah. She does listen well to Sister Ximen, though. It is quite peculiar.”

“Wh-who listens well?” Tang Nanah stammered, blushing.

“What, you’re not going to listen to me?” Qing teased. “Nanah-yah, I’m truly disappointed.”

“No, I listen. I mean, I will listen…” Nanah mumbled defensively.

“Where was I?” Zhuge Ihyeon continued, oblivious. “Ah, The Divine Thief…”

To roughly summarize Zhuge Ihyeon’s lengthy explanation:

The Shadowless Divine Thief refers to a line of mysterious thieves passed down through single successors.

Their activities typically involve relieving merchant houses, authorities, and occasionally wealthy members of the Unorthodox Faction of their gold, then distributing it among the common folk.

They don’t specifically target bad rich people, but generally, the wealthy are quite likely to be bastards.

Robbing bastards and distributing the gold is a good deed. Even if one in a hundred happens to be a decent rich person, the money still ends up with the public, so it’s not considered a major issue.

Thanks to this, they are sometimes called righteous thieves.

However, fundamentally, they remained ambiguous thieves, straddling the line between the righteous and unorthodox factions.

“Hmm. Sounds like a harsh assessment,” Qing commented after the summary.

“A thief’s spawn is a thief’s spawn,” Zhuge Ihyeon stated firmly. “My calligraphy master, Scholar Janghak, used to say they are petty thieves who skim off the top, take all the profit, and then make a show of distributing the leftovers. Mongrels among dogs, he called them.”

“So, the Shadowless Divine Hand?” Qing prompted impatiently. “Dammit, when did you sneakily switch to talking about the thief himself?”

The Shadowless Divine Hand, or Muyoung Sinna, is a type of geumna technique.

Grappling (Geumna) uses the character geum (擒) for 'seize' and na (拿) for 'catch'.

In other words, it's not about hitting or striking, but rather pushing, pulling, binding joints, or disrupting balance to subdue an opponent – a type of skill.

While typical fist arts, hand arts, palm arts, and claw arts employ forceful attacks through striking, hitting, and thrusting, Grappling arts embrace the subtlety of softness overcoming hardness.

However, the Shadowless Divine Hand specialized in a different aspect.

It was said that its stealthy hand movements, leaving not even a shadow, could remove even the undergarments a woman wore without her noticing, making it the greatest pickpocketing technique under heaven.

“Huh? Isn’t that analogy a bit… much?” Qing raised an eyebrow. “And, well, that’s kinda… Underwear suddenly going missing would be so convenient— I mean, unsettling.”

“This originates from an anecdote recorded in unofficial history,” Zhuge Ihyeon explained, “involving a bet between the esteemed Celestial Martial Emperor and The Divine Thief. The bet was whether The Divine Thief could steal something from a woman without her noticing. The Divine Thief won.”

Afterward, when The Divine Thief apologized and returned the undergarments, he received a resounding slap across the face.

At that moment, the Celestial Martial Emperor supposedly intervened, apologized on The Divine Thief’s behalf saying he had ordered it, and then disappeared with the woman.

The Celestial Martial Emperor was also famously handsome.

The Divine Thief, despite winning the bet, could only return steeped in a sense of defeat, or so the story goes.

“Hmm. Deserves a slap, huh? Yeah, I guess so,” Qing nodded thoughtfully.

“Isn’t that guy a total pervert?” Tang Nanah suddenly interjected, shuddering. “What kind of creep does that? Did he put paralysis powder or something on his hands? Gives me the creeps. Uh, um…”

Qing’s superhuman hearing caught Tang Nanah’s whisper, muttered like a breath within her mouth.

Paralysis powder… she’d said.

Then, plopping a piece of braised and fried pork rib onto Qing’s plate, Nanah said brightly:

“Qing-ah, tonight it’s just us friends, right?”

“Hey,” Qing narrowed her eyes. “What paralysis powder? Don’t you remember when my chest was split open, they didn’t even use paralysis powder, just stitched up raw flesh? Seriously, you give me the creeps.”

“Ah! I-I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Nanah flustered. “And wh-what! So what! We’re just women together. It’s not like anything will wear out!”

“Coming out quite boldly now, are we?” Qing challenged.

Tang Nanah met her gaze defiantly, forcing strength into her eyes.

Of course, her pupils trembled and her face was pale, clearly frozen stiff, but that courage alone could be acknowledged—

No, what kind of courage is this? Qing mentally corrected herself.

Then, something came to mind.

“Hmm? Speaking of which, what did you do about lodging?” Qing asked. “I heard every inn is fully booked.”

“There are guest lodgings provided by the Alliance,” Zhuge Ihyeon answered. “Right, Sister Qing. Would you like to stop by the clan’s guest lodgings? Xiang is making quite a fuss, demanding I bring you over. Did you become that close in such a short time?”

“Kids just tend to like me,” Qing said nonchalantly. “That Murong kid was all ‘Big Sis, Big Sis’ too, causing a ruckus.”

“It is likely because you understand and accommodate them well, Sister Qing,” Zhuge Ihyeon offered. “After all, your mental ages align perfectly, Ack!”

Thwack! With the sound of a small bell ringing, Zhuge Ihyeon clutched his head.

“Don’t think you’re safe just because you’re far away,” Qing warned coolly. “My head flick knows no distance. Why do you seem to be getting bolder lately? You only call me Sister Qing with your lips.”

“Who in the world uses the Buddha's Palm to deliver a head flick…” Zhuge Ihyeon groaned, rubbing his head.

At this sight, Peng Daesan’s eyebrow twitched.

Zhuge Ihyeon had always been friendly and polite, treating everyone with respect, even addressing those just a year older as 'Brother' or 'Sister'.

However, such politeness also implied a certain distance. While he was friendly with many of the rising stars of the Dragon-Phoenix Assembly, he had no single closest friend.

He was often seen with Uncheok, but that was because they were cousins, relatives.

Besides—

“Wait,” Peng Daesan interrupted. “Buddha’s Palm?”

“Brother Peng, you did not know?” Zhuge Ihyeon looked surprised. “Sister Qing is the successor to the Buddha's Palm, is she not?”

“This is the first I’m hearing of it,” Peng Daesan stated flatly.

“Well yeah, because I didn’t tell you?” Qing retorted simply.

At that, Peng Daesan’s eyebrow twitched again—

“What’s with the eyebrow twitching?” Qing demanded. “It’s not like there’s some custom among friends to reveal every martial art you’ve learned. I don’t know what you’ve learned either, Daesan.”

“That is. Hmm. True…” Peng Daesan conceded reluctantly.

“Wait! What was that just now! Daesan!” Tang Nanah suddenly shouted. “Are you two like… that? No! This is invalid, I refuse to acknowledge it, I won’t. I cannot permit it!”

Peng Daesan flinched, looked at Tang Nanah, and made his characteristic expression of disgust upon seeing a woman.

Right, this woman was here too.

The Poisonous Flower of the Tang Clan.

An arrogant woman who thought she was the best and looked down on everyone else.

She was also a selfish woman who believed the world revolved around her and should continue to do so.

He’d seen her twice during an event in Sichuan.

Twice was enough to be thoroughly sick of her. A dreadful woman.

He hadn't paid her much mind since she hadn't acknowledged him yesterday or today, and having not been bothered by women recently, he had completely forgotten about her presence.

Peng Daesan’s expression turned sharply cold.

But only for a moment.

“Even if you are Young Master Peng, this isn’t right!” Nanah continued her tirade, seemingly oblivious to his reaction. “Trying to seduce our innocent Qing, I bet this is it, pretending to be a pure friend to get close. Right! That’s what I wanted to talk about! How could you possibly get only one room! How!!”

Tang Nanah’s voice grew louder towards the end.

It seemed she was getting increasingly worked up just by saying it.

“Even if our kind Qing-ah said ‘what’s the big deal, there are two beds,’ shouldn’t the young master have gone to sleep at the Heavenly Martial Team's lodgings!? What is this, acting like you had no choice but to share a room, planning to get entangled if rumors spread later!!? Hey, isn’t this guy a complete scoundrel!!”

Peng Daesan looked utterly dumbfounded, raising a finger to point at his own face.

Are you seriously talking to me? the gesture implied.

“What, feeling unlucky?” Nanah snapped back. “Showing off just because you have a pretty face? Do you think I’d act like some simpering fool, ready to give up my liver and gallbladder just because of a face like yours?”

“Ha. How absurd,” Peng Daesan scoffed.

“I’m the one who finds this absurd, you know?” Tang Nanah retorted without backing down.

Peng Daesan’s voice dropped an octave.

“Have you forgotten what you said to me at the Grand Clan Lord’s seventieth birthday banquet?”

“Ugh.” Nanah visibly recoiled.

“Didn’t you approach me out of the blue and say you’d permit me one wife and one concubine?” Peng Daesan pressed. “And what else? That you wanted to wait five years before having children so your figure wouldn’t be ruined?”

“Uuugh.”

“Well, you certainly weren’t acting like you’d give up your liver and gallbladder back then either,” he finished dryly. “You were just acting like the main wife without anyone’s permission.”

It was truly the behavior of a villainess.

If this were any story other than a martial arts novel, she’d be the kind of minor villainess who shows up early on to splash a glass of wine on the protagonist.

The kind whose repayment for a little moisturizing with skin-friendly wine would minimally be the annihilation of her entire clan, nine generations[^("Nine degrees of kinship" (구족 / 九族 / gujok) refers to an extreme form of collective punishment in ancient East Asia, typically reserved for treason. It involved the execution of the offender's relatives spanning nine generations – usually four above, the offender's own, and four below, potentially including maternal lines – to completely eradicate the lineage.)] included, and at worst, her soul being captured to burn for eternity in the fires of hell. That exact role.

Therefore, Tang Nanah should be eternally grateful she was born in the Central Plains.

“Th-that was! I was young then!” Nanah protested weakly.

“Hmm. So,” Peng Daesan drawled, leaning in slightly, “does that mean you have no feelings for me now?”

“Ha! Does he think every woman in the world is in love with him?” Nanah scoffed, turning away. “So damn annoying.”

Peng Daesan’s expression twisted.

Seeing things had reached this point, Qing decided to intervene.

“Well said, our Nanah! That’s right! Hear, hear!” she declared, clapping lightly.

“See?” Nanah immediately latched onto the support. “I’m the only one for you, right?”

“Yes, yes,” Qing placated. “But what was that? You’d permit one wife and one concubine? Did you really say that? That you wanted to wait five years for kids to manage your figure?”

“And it was the first time we met,” Peng Daesan added eagerly, tattling.

Tang Nanah’s face turned beet red, looking like it might explode.

Qing then snorted derisively at Peng Daesan.

“You weren’t much better on our first meeting, you know? What was it? ‘This is a technique I haven’t seen before’? And that my chest was vulgar and too big, minus one hundred points?”

“…It wasn’t a full hundred points,” Peng Daesan mumbled, subtly averting his gaze.

With one face about to explode and the other unable to lift his head, the argument naturally ended.

“Truly impressive, Sister Qing!” Zhuge Ihyeon piped up with exaggerated admiration. “After enjoying the spectacle and hearing everything you needed, you seized their weaknesses and subdued them both simultaneously! This foolish younger brother is moved by your despicable maneuvering! Truly magnificent! The very definition of the Miraculous Zhuge!”

“Alright. Zhuge-ah,” Qing sighed. “I’ll let it slide this time, so you can put away the flattery. And if you’re going to block, find a material other than glass. The shards get all in my hair.”

“Yes, Sister Qing. I shall keep that in mind,” he replied dutifully.

Thus, the meal concluded.

As was the natural course of things, they ordered tea and were sipping it when Qing spoke.

“Ah. But that young lady. Gongson… Gongsun Zan? Hmm? Who is Gongsun Zan, and why does the name stick to my tongue?”

“Ah, you speak of Gongsun Zan?” Zhuge Ihyeon began eagerly. “Gongsun Zan was—”

“Don’t be noisy,” Peng Daesan cut him off sharply. “It’s Gongson Yoye. Said she’s a direct descendant of the Gong Clan.”

It could be called a very appropriate measure.

Qing asked again.

“Right. Anyway. Since she proudly announced it, it must be a famous family, right? Then you know where they are? Where is that young lady now?”