Chapter 171: Are You Acquainted With This Beggar?

"You, uh, should have woken me up."

"But you were sleeping..."

"I wasn't sleeping, just lying down."

"Um, then, now-"

"Hold it! Stop the sexual harassment! Stop the sexual violence!" Qing declared, firmly holding up her palm.

In Qing's homeland, this was a miraculous solution that simultaneously halted the other party's ill-mannered behavior and caused the delinquent to shed tears of repentance, turn over a new leaf, suddenly realize the joy of friendship, help each other diligently in their studies, and solve all problems at once.[^A reference to this 😭😂]

It was devised by the great officials of the Han people[^"Han people" (한민족 - Hanminjok) is a direct reference Qing makes to Koreans/her people from her original world. Translating it literally keeps the slightly jarring, out-of-place feeling intended in the satire.]. Among such miraculous creations was the enigmatic artifact known as the 'laughter bell,' which, when rung, inevitably caused people to burst into happy laughter.

Damn it, I haven't organized my thoughts on gender equality education yet.

I thought he might show up in a few days, not barge in suddenly in the middle of the night.

When was the last time I heard about this stuff?

Before I left home, so five years ago.

What I remember is...

Thinking back, she knew what attitudes not to take. Like not treating the audience like sex offenders.

"Ahem. First, I'll give this back, so the talk about breasts ends here. Got it?"

"Ah. Yes..."

Isn't it rather unchildlike of him to accept it without whining this time? He seems to listen well, though.

"And you, sit down here for a second. Your big bro is gonna tell you an awesome story."

"You were a 'big bro'?"

"The term 'hyung' can also mean an elder or senior."

"Ah..."

Murong Jun plopped down onto the ground.

"First, let's start with a diagnosis. Right, has no one taught you what you should and shouldn't say to others? Is the basic education of the Five Great Families that poor? What do they even teach you in your clan?"

Even Tang Nanah knew what shouldn't be said. She just chose to say it anyway, and if it became a problem, she'd get away with it through a perfectly postured apology.

Come to think of it, this kid at least asked. That Tang Nanah girl really groped me secretly. There's the real sex offender.

"Martial arts!"

"Hm. And?"

Murong Jun looked as if wondering if there was anything else to learn besides swordsmanship.

"How old are you, kiddo?"

"Nine!"

"And you haven't learned anything besides swordsmanship?"

"Nope! They say I'm the hope of the clan! They said I just need to diligently practice martial arts. And martial arts are fun!"

Seeing him fly around using lightness skills during the day, his proficiency was unbelievable for a nine-year-old. He was probably a martial arts genius, or perhaps a prodigy of some sort, but still, they should teach him some basic common sense.

These thoughts were coming from Qing, a strong contender for the title of the person most lacking common sense in the world when dealing with the adults of the martial arts world.

But well, it wasn't surprising. In Qing's homeland too, weren't there plenty of parents who didn't care about their child's usual conduct as long as their grades were good? Just thinking they'd get better as they got older.

As if getting older will help when all they've learned is that good grades solve everything. They're practically preparing to be abandoned in their old age [^This is a reference to Goryeojang, the legendary practice of abandoning elderly parents in the mountains. Qing is using it metaphorically for neglect.] while beaming proudly at their kid's report card.

"Alright. Listen up. There's this thing called chastity in the world..."

Qing began her own version of Chinese-style gender equality education.

She wasn't so clueless as to preach complete gender equality out of the blue in the Central Plains. However, she did fully agree with Ximen Surin's radical ideas—which were only radical in the Central Plains; by modern standards, they were basically common sense.

The primitive, ancient, barbaric level of the Central Plains dictated that if a woman showed her bare feet, it was akin to losing her chastity, grounds for divorce, beating, and throwing her out. (Beyond China, the West wasn't much different for the era.)

Murong Jun's expression, initially curious about what she was saying, grew increasingly miserable.

"...So, if it hadn't been me, someone with a big heart, our little kiddo did something so bad that you wouldn't have had anything to say even if you were stabbed to death for it. Understand?"

"Uh. So, what I did was wrong...?"

"Yes. And when you do something wrong, what should you do?"

"This..."

The child fumbled with his tiny hands and offered the gold sycee she had returned earlier.

Look at those hands! They're like half—no, a quarter—the size of mine! Four of them put together would match mine! Good grief!

But cute was cute, and outrageous was outrageous. As a sensible adult, Qing had a duty to teach him the harsh reality that there are people in the world whom cuteness doesn't work on.

Thwack!

It was the crisp sound of a bamboo sword striking.

"Aack!"

As expected, Murong Jun clutched his head and rolled on the ground.

Shaolin monks, aiming to enlighten villains, had no need to learn useless divine arts like the Seventy-Two Shaolin Fist Arts instead of killing blows. A single Ximen Surin-style radioactive fist bombardment technique was sufficient to reform villains; this unprecedented technique should be spread widely throughout the martial arts world.

"Ow, it hurts..." Murong Jun looked up, eyes wide like saucers, tears welling up.

"When you do something wrong, you should apologize first. Offering the gold sycee comes after that. Got it?"

"Yes... But, Beggar Unni, am I bleeding?"

That reaction... just like someone else I know. I know that pain all too well.

Qing suppressed a laugh and gently admonished him.

"You're not bleeding, so stop rubbing it. And remember that pain. That's how much my heart hurt too. What's with calling me a 'dirty prostitute' right off the bat? Fine, I was dirty because I'm a beggar. But why 'prostitute'? Do you even know what 'prostitute' means?"

"Uh, someone who does anything if you give them money...?"

"Bzzzt. Wrong. Ignorance is no excuse. You shouldn't try to understand things on your own. You should have checked with an adult first."

"Yes... Then, Beggar Unni, you're an adult, right?"

He was asking her to tell him.

"Of course. There's no adult as splendid as me. Hmm. There are good words and bad words in the world..."

Qing proceeded to give eye-level education tailored for a nine-year-old child. It was childish content, on the level of 'Don't say bad words, it hurts the listener's feelings.'

However, it was also precious education that no one had given Murong Jun, but desperately needed to.

It wasn't that the people of the Murong Clan were ill-mannered. It was just that a genius destined to be the future Greatest Under Heaven had appeared in their family. They were so thrilled by how quickly he absorbed martial arts teachings, forgetting all about character building, that they took turns playing master, teaching him all day long. All because they wanted to brag later, "Ahem, I taught the Greatest Under Heaven."

Thanks to that, the thought 'Someone else will teach him common sense' was shared by you, me, and everyone else, leading to this disaster.

"...So you shouldn't use words like that."

"But adults already use them freely," Murong Jun pointed out.

Qing was momentarily speechless.

Damn it. So that's why they say kids are like mirrors.

Of course, the clan members probably spoke freely because they didn't know the kid was eavesdropping. Is that damned secret passage the problem?

"Hmm. Even so, adults already know those are bad words when they use them."

"Then isn't that doing something bad?"

"Yes. That's right. But it's because they take full responsibility if problems arise later. Hmm. Right."

The kid was too young to be taught about personal responsibility. Qing had never thought so carefully about anything since coming to the martial arts world; if Ximen Surin saw this, she would have praised her highly for becoming a splendid teacher already.

"It's because they're bad adults," Qing said. "So, does our kiddo want to be a bad adult too? Are you going to be a bad adult together with them?"

"Um... I don't think so."

"Good. That's right."

Qing ruffled Murong Jun's hair. It would have been better if her hands weren't dirty. Hmm, there's a little bump on the top of his head. Did I use a little too much force?

"But, um, you know..." Murong Jun began hesitantly.

"Yeah? What?"

"About breasts."

Hmm. This kid is quite persistent.

But his next words were pitiful.

"Then, does that mean there's no way for me at all? I can't ask my mom because I don't have one. And I'm not married, so I don't have a wife. And if I ask other people, it's wrong, so I can't do that either..."

"Unfortunately, yes," Qing confirmed.

"That's unfair..."

It sounded pitiable, but he was right. How should she explain this, though? She couldn't just spew nonsense like, 'You rich young master, born with the best silver spoon in the Central Plains, whining about being too blessed.'

"Hmm. Do you really have no mother at all? Damn, why does this sound so harsh? You don't have any other mothers? Don't rich families have several mothers? Ah, right, a wet nurse! You must have a wet nurse, right?"

"Well, she became my aunt..."

Did the wet nurse and his uncle fall for each other?

Qing thought simply, but the reality was a bit more complicated. A wet nurse held a position roughly equivalent to an honorary wife; she wasn't a servant but practically family, just not officially listed on the family tree. Though Qing didn't know and Murong Jun didn't know, a great victory of pure love had occurred when a man, defying everyone's opposition, took his older brother's honorary wife as his main wife. It just meant that Murong Jun, who had already lost his mother, was now also deprived of his wet nurse, making him quite pitiful.

"Sorry. There's no other way," Qing said finally. "Isn't the only option to get married quickly?"

"Yes. Hmm. But..." Murong Jun looked at Qing.

Behind her veil, Qing's expression turned troubled.

Oh dear.

Seriously, I don't know why these kids like me so much.

See, he has his cute moments.

"Let me tell you beforehand, I have no intention of getting married," Qing stated firmly. "Staring at me like that won't get you engaged."

"Huh? I don't want to marry you either, Beggar Unni," Murong Jun retorted.

Qing's eye twitched. "What was that? Didn't you just look at me with 'maybe even you?' eyes? Are you changing your tune now because you're embarrassed? Yes or no?"

"Well, if I married someone just for their breasts, it feels like I'd be doing something bad to them, so I was going to ask..."

"Hmm. Teach one thing, and he understands ten. The kiddo has had a very excellent thought. The budding sex fiend has now become the martial world's number one groom candidate." Qing wiped her hand on Murong Jun's hair again. Still bumpy. Is someone going to come after me later asking who hit him?

"Heehee..." The child let out a bright, happy laugh.

Hmm. He's just a kid.

But she had to press the issue. "But, you don't want to marry me? How dare you?"

"But, Beggar Unni, you wear a veil. People who wear veils cover their faces because others might find their faces unpleasant to look at..."

"Who told you that? Another story you eavesdropped on?"

"My father said so... Once, there was someone wearing a veil, and when I asked why they covered their face, he answered. He said they cover their face for the sake of others, so I shouldn't point fingers or rudely try to peek."

"Hmm. I see. You understand well."

This is why you need to hear the whole story.

Given the perception of veiled people in the Central Plains, and the excellent conclusion, his esteemed father had spoken correctly. Qing, who just wore it because it was bothersome not to, was the unusual case. While not entirely unheard of for people in the Central Plains to use veils for that reason, there was no need to emphasize the peculiar minority.

Suddenly, a mischievous curve formed on Qing's lips.

"So, you don't want to marry ugly me? Come to think of it, maybe I could marry our kiddo now? Want to reconsider?"

"No. I want to marry a pretty girl."

"Isn't inner beauty more important than looks?" Qing countered.

"Uh... Then, I'll marry a girl who is pretty and has a beautiful heart. Not you, Beggar Unni," the child answered after a moment's thought. It was indeed a clever answer.

"Damn, when a rich young master says things like this, I'm speechless. Fine, so you'll marry a girl who's pretty and kind-hearted? Think carefully. This is your last chance. If you reject me this time, I'll be so, so hurt that I'll absolutely never marry you."

"Um... I'm sorry." The child bowed his head while still sitting. Seeing that, it seemed his etiquette training was fine.

"Really? Then it can't be helped," Qing sighed dramatically. "I don't want to marry you either, you know? It'll be useless even if you come crying and clinging to me later."

"I don't think that's likely to happen..." Murong Jun mumbled.

"It's over now, completely over. Eternal friends. Got it? Don't expect anything more than friendship from me. Understood?"

"Huh? Are we friends?" Murong Jun's expression brightened. Seeing that, Qing's expression softened with fondness.

"Yeah. Wanna be secret friends with Unni?"

"No. I just want to be regular friends, not secret friends."

"You certainly have a persistently firm side to you..." Qing muttered.

"Well then, since Beggar Unni and I are friends, you can call me Junnie.[^Murong Jun suggests Qing call him 아준 (Ajun), adding the affectionate suffix -이 (-ie) to 준 (Jun) from his name 모용준 (Moyong Jun). "Junnie" captures this diminutive.] Then, Beggar Unni is."

"I shall specially permit you to call me Flower Beggar Unni."

"Huh? Flower Beggar...?" Murong Jun looked at Qing's veil with an awkward expression.

Seriously, this brat.

Why does he have to throw a curveball every time he starts being cute?