Chapter 150: The Road to Kaifeng

Truth be told, Qing, being from Hubei, knew Hubei cuisine like the back of her hand.

When you thought of Hubei, the first things that came to mind were mandarin fish and softshell turtles.

Generally, in the perception of the Chinese people, if you threw some mandarin fish or turtle together with lotus root, you could roughly pass it off as Hubei cuisine and most would nod along.

There were lamb and duck dishes too, of course.

But those two were practically staples of the Chinese diet, enjoyed in every region, while pork… well, pork was synonymous with China itself.

The Chinese love for pork wasn't just about eating it; they seemed to have absorbed the very nature of the pig itself. You could almost say they were living, breathing pigs.

Besides these, various dishes using freshwater fish were well-developed, though strangely, they weren’t often eaten raw as sashimi.

Not that they never ate it raw, mind you.

This aversion stemmed from historical records of geniuses from the ancient state of Wu who died young after eating raw freshwater fish infested with liver flukes.

And yet, every single one of them blamed the heavens as they died.

From Heaven’s perspective, watching these people gobble down parasite-ridden fish, declaring it delicious, only to cough up blood and cry, “Oh, Heavens!!” before dying… it must have been so infuriating that Heaven wouldn't have felt any affection for Wu anyway.

So, the dishes Zhuge Ihyeon laid out, enough to break the table legs, were all familiar to Qing.

However, while unfamiliar dishes offer a novel pleasure, familiar dishes are often the most delicious.

After a long while (three hours, actually), Qing began her whirlwind meal with true dedication.

In truth, the freshwater fish of the Central Plains strangely favored the carp family.

The problem was, these friends were structurally monstrous, with bones sticking out in every direction, making them difficult to debone and eat.

Yet, Gyeon Pohee, sitting beside her, skillfully deboned the fish and continuously piled the flesh onto Qing’s plate.

Not wanting to lose, Qing quickly gobbled it all up.

"Hey, me, me too."

Tang Nanah awkwardly tried to debone some fish, occasionally managing to fling ragged bits of flesh onto Qing’s plate.

“Thanks, but you missed some bones, Nanah.”

Qing said this while crunching down on the sharp freshwater fish bones as if they were nothing.

Tang Nanah also tried her hand at deboning, but as mentioned before, the bones were springy and sharp, branching out everywhere without a single gap – truly the evil kings, the evil emperors among evils.

Only after Tang Nanah popped a piece she’d deboned into her own mouth, finding it half flesh and half bone, unable to chew it, and spitting it right back out, did she realize the gravity of the situation.

“Oh? Sorry, the bones are really…”

“It’s fine. It’s delicious. Bones actually have a nutty flavor if you chew them slowly.”

“Even so, give it here, I’ll do it again.”

“I said it’s fine. You went to the trouble of deboning it for me.”

Qing intercepted the ragged piece Tang Nanah was trying to take back and stuffed it into her own mouth.

“You…”

To Tang Nanah, it had been utterly inedible, something she had to spit out.

But what woman wouldn’t be moved seeing someone eat it, seemingly forcing themselves(?) for her sake?

However, Qing was just… eating it.

Her body was already capable of crunching through tough rib bones, let alone fish bones, with a satisfying crunch crunch.

This was truly the greatest reward of having high stats.

“If it’s too hard, debone the mandarin fish instead of the carp. That one doesn’t have many bones.”

“Huh? Mandarin fish? Which one is that?”

“That one.”

Jeugeo meant carp, and gwore meant mandarin fish.

But to Tang Nanah, all fish looked the same, sporting the same fishy face.

For Tang Nanah, fish always arrived before her already named, usually with a comment like, ‘My dear, the shad is quite delicious today.’

So, for her to personally debone fish for the first time in her life, and for Qing of all people… if the Tang Clan Lord and his wife had seen this, they would surely lament that raising a daughter was all for naught.

“Haha. Elder Sister, you certainly eat with gusto!”

“That’s not an insult, right?”

“Of course not! Your spirit reminds me of Elder Sister Peng in her younger days. If I’m not careful, this little brother might just fall for you. The women of the Central Plains always pretend to peck at their food, which frankly ruins my appetite when dining together.”

“Ah. Miss Peng does eat well, doesn’t she? Though she’s a bit of a picky eater.”

“Does Elder Sister Peng still only eat meat?”

“Yep. Says you have to eat muscle to gain muscle.”

“‘Like cures like’ is merely a superstition. Although, thinking of Elder Sister Peng, perhaps there’s some truth to it? Ah, ‘like cures like’ means eating the same thing to…”

Zhuge Ihyeon chattered away with divine skill, his pronunciation perfectly clear even while stuffing his face.

Qing, deciding he was a friend who’d bought her food, pretended to listen while focusing on her meal.

Ah. Oh. Right. Mm. I see. Exactly.

The pleasant mealtime passed accompanied by her soulless responses.

“Wow, that was delicious.”

Having loosened her belt earlier while eating, Qing gently patted her protruding belly.

Tang Nanah poked it gently and exclaimed in admiration.

“Wow, it’s really packed. To think you ate all that…”

“Actually, I could eat more. But that space is reserved for dessert.”

“Seriously, how do you eat like this every meal and not gain weight? Hmm. All the fat goes up top, those lumps of flesh…”

Tang Nanah’s hand started creeping upwards, so Qing smacked it away.

“There you go again.”

“Ah, sorry, I didn’t even realize.”

Qing narrowed her eyes.

It was a good thing this girl was born a woman.

If she’d been a man, wouldn't the world have seen the birth of an unparalleled debauched lecher?

In truth, the consensus among martial artists was that Muhan (Wuhan) itself didn't offer much to see.

At most, there was the Yellow Crane Tower, a skyscraper reaching for the heavens. Donghu Lake, famous for its cherry blossoms, was out of season now, just a quiet lake where one could gaze at the horizon.

Of course, being able to see a horizon on a lake was a testament to the sheer scale of the Central Plains.

Yingchun Temple was famous, but not quite a major attraction like Luoyang's White Horse Temple; it was more of a place people stopped by on their way to Donghu Lake.

Therefore, with nowhere to go after dinner, they decided to stop by the Zhuge Clan residence and stay the night.

Although Zhuge Ihyeon was a bit talkative, he was fundamentally cheerful and had a certain cool charm – a giant kid brother.

He wanted them to stay at his place for a night and, since they were heading to Kaifeng anyway, travel together. There was no reason to refuse.

Actually, Muhan did have a hidden attraction: the short street leading directly to the Zhuge Clan's main gate.

Tea houses and restaurants lined the street, with numerous tables set up outdoors. Each seat was occupied by burly-looking older women, and occasionally men.

The businesses here were owned by the Zhuge Clan, and the customers were guests who gathered hoping to curry favor with the Zhuges. It showed their uncanny sense for making money.

“What’s with those flimsy wenches? Trying to wag their tails just because they have halfway decent faces?”

“Exactly. How dare girls whose waists are thinner than my arm cling to the Young Lord?”

“Look at that face. It’s smaller than my fist.”

“Such unwomanly girls. A real woman should compete with muscle.”

Qing focused and eavesdropped on their hushed conversation, and the contents were rather unsettling.

What the?

Are these people from some Amazonian nation across the distant sea?

Compete with muscle for what? Bride kidnapping?

Is this that famous gender-role reversal thing?

Of course, Qing didn't know anything like the Sound Isolation Art.

She simply had superhuman hearing that transcended normal human limits, so she could hear most things if she concentrated.

They weren't speaking loudly; it was just that the content of their whispers was shocking.

Since it wasn’t particularly offensive, Qing pretended she hadn't heard.

When visiting a friend’s house, it was proper etiquette to greet the parents first.

Before that, they were heading to drop off their luggage.

“Ihyeon Orabeoni-eeee!”

Qing flinched.

Orabeoni! [^Orabeoni; traditional, somewhat formal, and often affectionate way for a younger female to address her older brother in Korean]

Who would use such an atrocious word!

And drawing out the ending like that!

But simultaneously, a tiny figure came running towards them – a little girl, maybe six or seven years old.

Ah, a kid is acceptable.

She’s quite cute.

“Oh, Ah-Xiang. Have you been playing nicely?”

Zhuge Ihyeon lifted the girl high above his head, spun her around four times, and then perched her squarely on his shoulder.

Normally, one would give a piggyback ride, but his shoulders were so broad, he could carry her there.

The clear sound of a child’s distinctive Kyaaah! laughter filled the air.

Qing smiled like a proud father behind her veil.

Regardless, it was a heartwarming scene to behold.

This was the youngest direct descendant of the Zhuge family, Zhuge Xiang.

However, the ensuing conversation was a bit strange.

“What book did our Xiang read today?”

“Ung, Xiang read the thirty-first chapter of the Wuliuzi today.”

“Oh, the Wuliuzi! An excellent book. Yes, it’s quite interesting too. What part left the biggest impression on you?”

“Ung, well, starting with the Heavenly Officials section, it says weather is merely a Heavenly Official and not included in personnel matters, which differs from Sun Tzu’s perspective on timing, terrain, and season…”

“My goodness. That merely emphasizes preparedness before celestial events, not that Master Wu neglected…”[^Master Wu is the reputed author of the Wuliuzi: Added context for clarity as the text mentions "울요" (Ulyo), likely referring to the author of the Wuliuzi (울료자/Ullyoja).]

“But if, following Bo Yi, you dig secondary water channels, prepare wells and expand granaries for raids, and also prepare for winter to counter drought…”

“Those are all pre-battle preparations, things that must naturally be in place…”

Qing glanced at Tang Nanah, wondering if she understood any of this.

Just then, Tang Nanah looked back at Qing with the exact same expression, so they both just accepted it as ‘one of those things.’

Naturally, there was no need to check with Gyeon Pohee, so neither of them looked her way.

Feeling somewhat foolish and uncomfortable, they finished unpacking and went to greet the slender Zhuge Clan Lord and his burly wives.

“Please look after our Ah-Hyeon. The boy has a head full of knowledge but is still naive about the ways of the world. It would be good if you could treat him kindly, like a real younger brother.”

“Yes, Elder.”

“Good. Ack. Young people should hang out together.”

Even though his most cherished and pride-inducing son had returned with a gaggle of women, even declaring he would leave with them, the Clan Lord’s attitude was remarkably simple and straightforward, as if Ihyeon had just brought home some male friends.

Instead, the one who looked tearful was Zhuge Xiang, who was clinging to Zhuge Ihyeon as if she had nested in his arms.

“What, Orabeoni, where are you going?”

“You little rascal, Ah-Xiang! Acting like a baby again. Let your brother greet his friends and come here.”

“Ah, no, Xiang wants to stay with Orabeoni. Ah, I don’t want to!”

Zhuge Xiang clung tightly, but what chance did a small child have, no matter how strong she tried to be, when her mother’s forearm was about as thick as the girl herself?

The little girl couldn't overcome her mother’s strength and was pulled away.

After that, they moved to the annex, laid out some snacks, and mostly just chatted.

Surprisingly, the miscellaneous stories Zhuge Ihyeon told were quite interesting.

Eventually, he excused himself early, saying he needed to pack his own things. Qing and the others also took the chance to soak in hot baths.

Qing even specially permitted her Sworn Sister wannabe to attend to her during the bath.

Afterward, while sitting on the veranda of the guest hall, letting her hair dry and idly swinging her feet, she felt a subtle gaze. Turning her head, she saw a small head peeking out from behind a nearby wall.

“Hm? Kiddo? Your name was Xiang, right?”

“Ugh…”

At Qing’s beckoning, Zhuge Xiang hesitantly approached and asked abruptly.

“You’re the unni with the veil from earlier, right? Are you going to be my new sister-in-law?”

Specifically, she asked if Qing would become her suja, a Chinese term meaning sister-in-law or brother's wife.

Qing smiled playfully and asked, “Why? You don’t like the idea?”

“Nnng. I don’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because you’re weak.”

“Weak? This body is an expert.”

Qing pulsed an ignorant amount of energy from her hand.

If Ximen Surin had seen it, she would have given Qing a nuclear noogie. Showing off Demonic Arts to a child because you have nothing better to demonstrate?

Fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, young Zhuge Xiang lacked the discernment to recognize the White Hand Demonic Arts.

“Uuung. Not that. You don’t have muscles. And you’re not strong.”

“I am strong. Practically a Female Overlord.”

Zhuge Xiang stuck out her lower lip in a pout.

“Pfft. Liar. Can you even lift a hundred jin with those arms?”

“A hundred jin? I can lift that with one hand.”

“Then what about two hundred jin?”

“One in each hand makes two hundred, doesn’t it?”

“Three hundred jin?”

“Haven’t tried, but probably possible? Just lifting it shouldn’t be too hard. Swinging it around might be tough, though.”

“Without using internal energy?”

“Without using internal energy.”

At that, Zhuge Xiang smacked Qing’s knee lightly.

“Liar, you’re a total liar!”

“Look at this one! Trying to win with slander and fabrication already at this age? Hah, and it’s not like I can actually lift it to show you.”

As if waiting for that exact response, Zhuge Xiang replied. In fact, she had been waiting.

Anyone with Zhuge blood should naturally know how to scheme by the age of seven.

“Then show me.”

“Oing?”

“Quickly. If you don’t, I’ll tell Orabeoni you lied!”