Chapter 108: The Villainess Eats Malatang

The Five Flowers of the Central Plains.

It literally meant the five most famous flowers in the Central Plains.

In other words, beautiful women so renowned they needed no further explanation.

Then, a sudden thought occurred to Qing.

“Ah. Wait, this isn’t actually something like the ‘Five Great Beauties of Sichuan,’ is it?”

“What are you talking about?” Jayu asked, confused.

“Well, didn’t you say earlier that the ‘Heavenly Culinary Competition’ was actually just the competition for Sichuan’s best chef?”

“That’s certainly true when it comes to cuisine,” Jayu conceded with a slight smile, “but perhaps… not quite the case for Sichuan women specifically. No, it is indeed the Five Great Beauties of the entire Central Plains.”

“Oooh.”

Well, if that was the case, Qing, being a connoisseur of beauty (and obviously a man among men in spirit), couldn’t possibly miss out on seeing one.

After all, traveling with that guy Peng, was at least always easy on the eyes.

“Okay, but if her title is ‘Speaking Flower’ [^(Haeeohwa)], why do people also call her the ‘Speaking Poisonous Flower’ [^(Haeeodokhwa)]? Is it because she actually uses poison?”

“No,” Jayu replied simply. “It’s because her personality is legendarily nasty.”

“Ah.”

Well, duh, Qing thought. Anyone who casually boots other paying customers out of a restaurant reservation probably has a personality fouler than month-old kimchi.

If she wanted to eat something delicious that badly, why not just come with a couple of friends and bump maybe one other group?

They said her family is the richest in Sichuan—do they treat famous restaurant tours like mandatory company dinners?

And with enough people to rent out the entire damn place?

Ugh. Now that I think about it again, I’m getting pissed off all over.

Qing turned and marched over to the group of rejected customers.

“Hey everyone!” she shouted, voice ringing with righteous indignation. “How can such outrageous lawlessness be allowed in this world?! The nation has its laws, the martial world has its rules! Surely, businesses must adhere to clear ethical principles!”

“The young lady is right!” someone shouted back immediately.

“Indeed! Isn’t the way of business also a Dao, a path that requires ethics?!” another added.

The ‘cancelled ones’ murmured in enthusiastic agreement.

Qing raised her voice again, seizing the momentum.

“Are fancy dishes more important than actual people?! Restaurants exist by serving customers! That makes us, the customers, the absolute foundation of their business! We are Rank A, the highest grade! Those arrogant bastards who forget this basic truth and cancel reservations whenever they please? They deserve to go bankrupt! Utterly bankrupt!”

“That’s right! Bankrupt!”

“There’s a limit to treating customers like dogs!” the crowd roared back.

“Everyone, listen!” Qing’s voice soared, filled with passion. “This isn’t just about whether we get to enjoy one meal tonight or not! If businesses like this continue to thrive and make money through such bullshit practices, eventually every restaurant will start treating its customers like worthless dogs! We must make an example of this dog-shit establishment! We must drive them into bankruptcy to prove that justice still exists in the Central Plains!”

“Ooooh! RIGHT! SHE SPEAKS THE TRUTH!”

Qing passionately orated, skillfully fanning the flames of customer entitlement with a fiery heart.

Just moments before, these rejected patrons had simply been clustered together, venting their impotent rage, offering hollow condolences to each other, and generally just wasting their time.

But now, enlightened by Qing’s fiery rhetoric, they embraced the glorious ideology of customer-centrism! In that instant, they were reborn as righteous warriors fighting for their consumer rights!

And so, a young warrior in the crowd silently asked the ‘Madam’ leading them:

-But Madam. That arrogant restaurant is incredibly famous. Its reservations are booked solid for a month and a half. Even if we denounce them, will their prosperity truly falter?-

To which the Madam (Qing) internally replied with cold logic:

-That is precisely why we must treat anyone who crawls on their knees, begging for food from a place that treats customers like pigs and dogs [^(개돼지; Gaedwaeji - lit. "dogs and pigs," a derogatory term for people easily swayed or lacking self-respect)] simply because it ‘tastes good,’ as utter idiots themselves!-

-They are no different from those petty pigs and dogs, selling their dignity for a mere meal! They harm public justice, so their character is also fundamentally wicked!

Therefore, if we all collectively despise, curse, and publicly shame anyone who admits to eating at Changryong’s, won’t they eventually feel that shame and stop giving the place their business?!-

Hearing this internally (or perhaps just catching the vibe), the crowd of newly minted consumer warriors slapped their knees, exclaiming in admiration. They took this vicious strategy to heart, engraving it deeply upon their souls.

Qing’s utterly wicked pronouncements were, perhaps unsurprisingly, a novel shock to the relatively simple and straightforward people of the Central Plains.

This manipulative display might even earn her a notorious place in history as the originator of mindless gapjil (overuse of one's power)[^(Korean term for abuse of power, typically by someone in a superior social or economic position over someone perceived as lower.)].

If that happened, perhaps alongside the revered names of Confucius, Mencius, Zhuangzi, and Han Feizi, her own honorary title would be recorded as Sobija—the Great Consumer.

Anyway, Qing was internally smirking with satisfaction, watching the rejected customers practically vibrating with their newfound righteous mission, when Jayu spoke beside her.

“My friend, I never realized you possessed such a remarkable talent for sophistry and incitement.”

“Hey now,” Qing protested mildly. “What’s with the fancy words? Sophistry? Incitement?”

She paused, then added with a shrug,

“Actually, yeah, you’re right. Anyway, the point is, if they go bankrupt because of this, or even if their sales just take a nosedive, I’ll feel better. And isn’t that good enough?”

“Now that I observe more closely,” Jayu murmured, stroking his chin thoughtfully, “you seem to harbor considerable malice yourself, Friend. As Confucius once remarked upon…”

“Whoa there, Friend,” Qing cut him off sharply. “Your tone. It’s starting to sound all lofty and noble again. Wanna bring it back down to earth before I have to help you?”

“Ah.” Jayu blinked, then smiled faintly. “Unintentionally done. You’re quite right. Point taken. I shall keep it in mind.”

Meanwhile, the group of ‘cancelled ones’ had solidified their unity, forging a pact. Their first order of business: to unleash a torrent of loud jeers and insults upon the mysterious VIP guest responsible for tonight’s debacle the moment they appeared.

Right on cue, a massive, opulent carriage rolled into view in the distance.

Its luxurious black lacquered walls were emblazoned with a single, large character in gleaming gold leaf:

唐 (Tang).

The fiery momentum of the protestors, poised to unleash their righteous fury, instantly evaporated. Eyes darted nervously. People began to subtly shuffle backward, distancing themselves, suddenly very interested in the architectural details of the surrounding buildings, pretending they weren’t involved at all.

Just like that, the passionate debate on customer rights fizzled out and vanished completely.

“What the hell is with these people?” Qing muttered, bewildered. “They were so fired up just a second ago. Why’d they suddenly…?”

“Who in Sichuan,” Jayu stated flatly, “would dare to publicly curse the Tang Clan?”

Qing’s voice turned sharp with annoyance.

“Well, well, look at this shit. Acting like absolute royalty. Anyone watching would think the damn Emperor himself was making a royal procession.”

“…Indeed,”

Jayu agreed, his expression strangely gloomy.

The carriage had looked enormous from afar; up close, it was even more imposing.

Pulled by eight magnificent white horses, its sheer presence was extraordinary.

“Damn, that’s a nice carriage,” Qing admitted grudgingly.

“Of course it is,” Jayu immediately launched into enthusiastic detail, his previous gloom forgotten. “That’s clearly the top-of-the-line, limited edition model from the Ilcheon Trading Company! They won’t even accept an order unless you possess considerable power and influence. It’s the ‘Eight-Headed Power Carriage’ model—only three such carriages exist in the entire Central Plains! The exterior is crafted from ebony wood dyed by a master artisan, fitted together seamlessly without using any wedges, and furthermore…”

Ah, Qing realized.

He’s a carriage enthusiast. A gearhead.

Whatever. The gist was: the carriage was incredibly fancy and expensive. Qing tuned out the rest, letting the flood of technical details wash over her.

It seemed the compulsion for hobbyists to lecture endlessly about their passion, oblivious to their audience’s disinterest, was a universal constant, whether in the Central Plains or her modern world.

Amidst Jayu’s passionate rambling, Choi Leeong leaned in and whispered quietly to Qing.

“Ahem. Child. Do you… perhaps desire that carriage?”

“Huh?” Qing looked at him, surprised. “Gramps. We’re broke, remember?”

“We may lack money,” Choi Leeong murmured mysteriously, “but acquiring a carriage, if one truly desires it, is not entirely impossible…”

“Nahhh, forget it,” Qing dismissed the idea immediately. “Who wants the hassle of managing eight horses? Seriously, think of the upkeep! It’s much easier just to rent one when we actually need it.”

“Well, that is true, but…”

Choi Leeong looked distinctly disappointed.

(Unbeknownst to Qing, the Ilcheon Trading Company was one of the Heavenly Demon Divine Cult’s most successful front businesses.

The surprisingly smooth ride of the prisoner transport carriage she’d previously ridden in was, in fact, a product of their advanced, secret technology.)

Qing, however, had absolutely zero interest in fancy carriages.

She was, however, interested in something else mentioned earlier.

“So,” she said, turning back to Jayu, her eyes gleaming with anticipation, “you’re saying one of the five prettiest women in the entire Central Plains is actually riding inside that thing?”

“On the surface, that is certainly her reputation,” Jayu confirmed, though his tone remained cautious.

Qing’s expectations soared.

Even Jayu, who was obviously wary of pissing off the Tang Clan, still acknowledged her renowned beauty? This Speaking Flower must be truly spectacular.

Finally, the massive carriage rolled to a smooth stop right before the restaurant entrance. One of the coachmen leaped down from the driver's box with a flourish of impressive lightness skill.

What the—? They use Peak Realm masters as coachmen?

Qing scoffed internally.

Seriously? Why would anyone who reached the Peak Realm humiliate themselves by working as a damn carriage driver?

Do they have zero pride?

Or does the Tang Clan just pay obscenely well? Like, a gold piece per hour or something?

As Qing pondered the economics of high-level martial artist employment, the coachman respectfully opened the carriage door.

And at long last, the legendary figure—one of the Five Flowers of the Central Plains, hailed as the Greatest Beauty of Sichuan, the infamous Speaking Poisonous Flower —began to emerge.

The Greatest Beauty of Sichuan’s foot touched the ground first.

She wore a long, elegant skirt, but it was slit high up the side—a common, practical fashion choice for women in the martial world, as unslit skirts severely restricted movement.

As she extended her leg to step down, the slit parted, revealing… The Greatest Beauty of Sichuan’s incredibly robust, muscular leg.

Huh? Wot? Robust?

It was, indeed, a very robust leg.

Her visible thigh appeared thicker than Qing’s entire waist, with different muscle groups bulging distinctly, sharply defined and clearly delineated.

A giant of a woman unfolded herself from the carriage, seeming almost as large as the vehicle itself.

She stood easily eight chi tall [^(Approx. 2.6 meters or 8.5 feet – likely a significant exaggeration for effect)], radiating an imposing presence that went beyond mere height.

Even the forearms partially visible beneath her sleeves hinted at considerable, powerful thickness.

Set atop broad, sturdy shoulders was the head of… a beauty. Yes, undeniably beautiful, with a hearty, cheerful expression.

But…

Wait a damn minute. Where have I seen her before?

Why does she look familiar?

There’s no way I could have possibly seen a woman built like that and forgotten about it…

Objectively, she was pretty enough to warrant a passing thought of, ‘Yeah, she’s pretty,’ but not so breathtakingly gorgeous that Qing would find herself turning back for a second look or stealing glances.

Although… almost anyone would probably do a double-take, rubbing their eyes in disbelief, simply due to her astonishing physique.

Ah.

Realization dawned on Qing.

“So,” she said slowly, turning to Jayu, “the ‘Five Flowers of the Central Plains’… they’re ranked by strength, aren’t they?”

“Hm?” Jayu looked confused again. “What do you mean by that?”

“Right, right, makes sense,” Qing nodded to herself, ignoring him. “Martial artists always have to fight to claim their titles and rankings, obviously.”

She eyed the woman’s enormous fist.

It looked capable of taking down a bear in a single punch.

So the Five Flowers must be a title earned through combat among the top female martial artists!

Jayu sighed, looking at Qing with an expression bordering on pity.

“Isn’t it perfectly obvious that she is Peng Choryeo, the one who bears the moniker ‘Female Overlord’? I’d heard rumors that Female Xiang Ji had recently appeared at the Underground Life-and-Death Arena, but I didn’t realize it was actually true.”

“Uh…” Qing froze. ‘Female Overlord’ was a real person?

Qing, the unintentional imposter who had been using that very alias, glanced around nervously.

In the martial world, impersonating someone, especially someone famous, was a grave offense—practically an invitation to a blood feud.

“This is my first time seeing her in person as well,” Jayu continued, oblivious to Qing’s internal panic, “but indeed, she is a woman truly worthy of such a powerful alias.”

He then muttered under his breath, a worried frown creasing his brow,

“However… for a daughter of the Peng Clan to arrive in a Tang Clan carriage… If marriage negotiations are involved, this could become extremely troublesome…”

Qing only caught part of that mumbling.

“Huh? Peng Clan? Did you say the Peng Clan?”

“Indeed,” Jayu confirmed, still distracted. “The very same Hebei—”

“Your speech,” Qing snapped, cutting off his lapse into formality.

“Right,” Jayu corrected himself instantly. “Yes. The Hebei Peng Clan. She is the eldest daughter of the Peng Clan Head.”

Female Overlord, Peng Choryeo.

Her given name, Choryeo, used the characters for ‘crow-tit’ [^(A small bird)] and ‘beautiful.’ She’d supposedly been given the name because, born prematurely at eight months, she was unusually small and petite, like the tiny bird.

Apparently, no one at the time could have possibly imagined she would eventually grow… quite so enormously.

“Ah! No wonder!” Qing exclaimed, recognition finally clicking. “She looks exactly like Daesan!”

She was the spitting image, the female version, of Peng Daesan—Qing’s friend, the “Most Handsome Man Under Heaven.”

That explained the familiarity, and why she registered as beautiful, but more in a handsome, striking way than a delicate, pretty way.

Qing let out a huge sigh of relief.

Okay, so she’d accidentally stolen someone’s alias.

But it was her friend’s older sister! That was incredibly fortunate, right?

Surely, if she just confessed honestly, apologized profusely, and explained the situation clearly, Peng Choryeo might let it slide…?

It was at that exact moment.

Another figure emerged, belatedly revealed as she circled around the massive carriage from the opposite side where she had disembarked.

This second woman immediately, affectionately, clung onto Peng Choryeo’s sturdy arm, leaning against her and speaking in a sweet, almost coquettish voice.

“Sister, you really shouldn’t look down on it just because it’s malatang! I promise, once you try it, you’ll absolutely want to bring your whole family back to experience it!”

Peng Choryeo responded dryly, “I’m sure you don’t mean the whole family. More like just one certain individual from my family, right?”

“Ehehehe…” the second woman giggled charmingly. “But really, Sister, once you taste it, you will be truly, genuinely amazed!”

Qing was amazed too.

Woah! Holy SHIT! Now she’s gorgeous! No, seriously, that’s crazy beautiful! Is she even human?! How the FUCK is that level of beauty possible?!

So this is the caliber of the Five Flowers of the Central Plains?

Okay, then. Qing mentally conceded, awestruck. Yes. The title ‘Five Flowers of the Central Plains.’ Duly acknowledged.